Big "report" due out this week!

If you're like me, you get pretty darned excited when you hear that the Art Pope Puppetshow is getting ready to release one of its new "reports." So hold on to your hats, buckaroos, because this one promises to be a doozie!

A new study comparing faculty compensation in the University of North Carolina system with peer institutions around the country will be released on Wednesday, May 9, at 11:00 a.m. at a press conference in the Legislative Press Room. The study is published by the John William Pope Center for Higher Education Policy and written by Jon Sanders, a policy analyst and research editor with the John Locke Foundation. Senate Republican Leader Phil Berger (R-District 26) will host the press conference.

Whooooeeee, this is gonna be a good one, 'specially since it was written by none other than Jon Sanders, one of the Puppetshow's many experts on higher education. In fact, a quick Googly search shows that Jon Boy is actually an expert on just about everything! For example:

Here he showcases his gallantry in defending Ann-the-Man Coulter from her many detractors.

Here he explains how sex is indistinguishable from illegal drugs. We can only hope that confusion keeps the good Puppet from coming through in the procreation department.

Here he makes a compelling case for moron offsets that would permit him to blanket the public airwaves with this wisdom!

And that's just the beginning. You can find more pearls of possibility from the Puppet here where he goes on and on and on and on and on - truly ad nauseum - revealing himself to be the king of the mountain when it comes to right wing Puppetry in prose.

Which brings us to Senator Phil Berger, who will be sharing the stage with Mr. Sanders on Wednesday when the John Locke Foundation releases its next "report" about the miserable state of whatever. Do you think Phil knows the guy he's partnered with is in the running for the world's greatest one of these? Probably so. After all, here's what Mr. Berger has to say about his own philosophy of life.

CONSERVATIVE VALUES: "I am fighting for an Amendment to protect Traditional Marriage, I have a strong Pro-Life record, and I support the Right to keep and bare arms."

Bare arms? Heh. Looks like the good senator should have spent more time lissenin' to the perferssers at that Baptis' Kollege he 'tended way back when.