Anything for a dollar

Last month Dollar Tree offered to buy Family Dollar for eight and a half billion dollars. But now, Dollar General is also offering to buy Family Dollar, and they are offering close to ten billion dollars -- more than one billion dollars more for Family Dollar than Dollar Tree offered.

All three stores cater to customers who don't have many dollars, and with people like Nelson Dollar making poor people even poorer, the customers of Family Dollar, Dollar General and Dollar Tree find themselves with fewer and fewer dollars to spend. That's why Dollar General and Dollar Tree are trying to buy Family Dollar. Not enough dollars to go around.

Regardless of who pays the most dollars for Family Dollar, it is reported that the new combined company will be renamed Almighty Dollar.

Reports that Nelson Dollar is pursuing a separate bid backed by dollars from Art Pope could not be confirmed, but it would make sense, since Nelson Dollar helped to arrange the wealth redistribution of dollars from poor people into Art Pope's pocket.


"Talkin' bout cash money -

"Talkin' bout cash money - dollar bills y'all - come on, now" -- The O'Jays

"I will have a priority on building relationships with the minority caucus. I want to put substance behind those campaign speeches." -- Thom Tillis, Nov. 5, 2014