WHY??

My parents would swear on the Bible that while other babies begin to make sounds with “ma-ma” their little bundle of joy came from the womb screaming “WHY?”. Things haven’t changed much in the intervening years. Below are some of my favorites. BB

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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money in the account to pay the first charge let alone any additionaL ones?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but duck when a revolver is thrown at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose bright idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance ?

ow do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, what does that tell you?

And,
Why would a spam troll, neocon, conservative in sheeps clothing, whacko, nutcase, demented old broad like me continue to visit, read and contribute to this site? BB

Comments

Remote possibility

The answer to number 1. is probably because it works, eventually.

Speaking as a remote control expert (male) as I do and having taken apart many remotes I can state that the primary reason for pressing harder on the remote is to overcome the resistance caused by sticky residue from spilled liquids be they soda, juice, tea, coffee, beer, chocolate milk, soup or a range of pourable and sprayable household fluids including, ironically, cleaning products.

Also, sometimes the batteries are not dead but the contacts have weakened and simply rotating the batteries in place can reestablish the metal to metal contact.

Anglico, I do very much

Anglico, I do very much enjoy this site so will probably continue to lob one of my misfit "thinking all over the place" bombshells from time to time just to give you all something to pitch spit balls at. BB

Greg, Yuk! All that stuff with all those germs growing in it and you are still touching it? I really was never sure why my husband got me my very own remote control years ago, but I know now. The dear man loves me and didn't want me to catch any nasty things from him. (sigh isn't love grand?) BB

Batteries? What in the world are batteries? When my remote control acts up I just whack it a few times.

YOUR COMMENTS ARE WELCOME. THANK YOU FOR VISITING. BRENDA BOWERS

Don't worry

I always clean it thoroughly with alcohol before re-assembly, but it does make me wonder about hotel room TVs.

As to ownership of the remote I give you this typical conversation in our household:
Me:  (Reading The Nation)
Wife: Where's the remote?
Me:  You have it.
Wife: Oh, here, you take it.
Me:  OK
Wife: Could you put it on Larry King?
Me:  OK
Wife: Could you turn it down?
Me:  OK (Goes back to reading The Nation)

A blog is not a blog

without a misfit bombshell lobbed into the mix every now and again. I for one enjoy the spectacle of flying spit balls, pie and the occassional recipe ... in moderation, of course.

Besides, you're funny BB. Everybody likes you when you're funny, no matter what you did or wrote last week. ;)

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

OK what happened

Not sure what I did there but the post went spelunky on the link???

Weird, I can't even go in and edit. I think I know the error, I forgot
The ">zubbles before the final tag ""

Can a moderator go in there and fix that for me? Muchas gracias

I am truly bummed

but thanks for taking the time to put the link in your comment. I should have caught that.....

Yes. Very cool.

Red white and blue bubbles at political conventions! Lawrence Welk, eat your heart out.

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."