Let's Talk About Sex
Let's talk about sex. Or, better yet, let's pay attention as the experts talk about sex.
As a mother of two lovely preteen/teen daughters, (who incidentally will never have a date if they keep telling every boy they meet just how stupid they think they are!) I read the article in last week's Newsweek titled "Girls Gone Bad" with a great deal of interest.
Several paragraphs in, I thought, "they should have interviewed Mrs. Anglico for this piece", and several paragraphs later I saw that they had.
More sex below the fold...
Many factors affect kids' sexual behavior, and it may be that kids who are already considering sex are more likely to seek out sexy shows and music. But researchers say one of the strongest predictors of early intercourse is the impression—real or imagined—that everybody else is doing it. For some teens, especially those who aren't getting strong messages about abstinence from their parents, the media can become a sort of "sexual superpeer," according to Jane D. Brown, a journalism professor at UNC Chapel Hill, and an author of the Pediatrics study. The message, says Brown, is that "you can walk around with no clothes on, you can have sex with whoever shows up, you can have a baby and not be married."(emphasis mine)
Jane Brown points out that the conversations about appropriate behavior must come from parents, but the author doesn't spend much ink on it until later in the piece. However,finally, at least the author did point out who controls the purse strings - the purse strings that help limit exposure to "girls gone bad" or "the Brit Pack". It might be weak, but finally, someone points out that we parents can establish limits by simply saying, "no". Imagine that.
Thanks, Jane for all your work in this area. As a parent of preteen/teen girls it's great to finally see the MSM picking up on some of this dialogue. It's about time mature discussions of sex in our culture came out from under the covers. Sex itself did a long time ago.
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I think sex
is a perfect Sunday morning discussion thread...don't you?
I also think it's funny/sad/strange that my children - the children of a free-loving liberal - are being raised in a censored (for sex and violence) environment while the six-year-old daughter of some of our wingnut friends is being encouraged to prance around like a "prostitot" as she sings and dances to "Fergalicious".
hehe...edited for spelling :)
I saw that article
I didn't read it too closely, since I don't have kids and am not going to. But I said "Ha! Finally!" at that last paragraph, where she said parents can tell their kids no. What a concept.
I do think, however, that a feminist awareness of sex, taught to children and teenagers, could help a LOT. By "feminist awareness" I mean that both/all parties consent explicitly to all acts, without coercion. I remember as a teenager the 'bad boyfriend' portrayed on TV as saying "oh, come on, you know I love you," and blah blah.
Feminist awareness includes the idea that women can have sexual desire, and that it's normal, as opposed to the virgin/whore dichotomy pushed by the abstinence-only crowd.
Culture sexualizes women, turns them into objects for men's sexuality. We need to empower women to be subjects.
I hate to comment with a fireball and run, but we're going to meet some friends and visit the baby goats at Celebrity Dairy today.
Baby Goats...aww cute
Big first step - conversations about sex - feminist or otherwise. But I agree with you.
Robin Hayes lied. Nobody died, but thousands of folks lost their jobs.
Sorry to post and run
We are heading up to the property so I can clear some brush.
You think I'm kidding?
Anyone here want wild blackberry plants? I'm digging a bunch up so I can get to the more mature plants in the center of the thicket. It's HUGE and I can spare some plants.
Robin Hayes lied. Nobody died, but thousands of folks lost their jobs.
Your girls have a lot going for them.
The most important thing is that you are their mother and you are hands on.
Sunday
could certainly use a little more open discussion on the subject.
The kids are getting bombarded about sex and religion in disturbing ways.
I just recently got cable television for the first time in five years--basic cable, no espn, weather channel or nothin'. I get public access and local channels, bet, news 14 and c-span two. For five years I've averaged a half-hour of TV per week sometimes going weeks without turning it on. In basketball season, I watch more often. Just before the Duke/UNC game the other night, I tuned in early and got to see a show where a psychotic individual videotapes himself reading a bible verse before setting a pack of dogs loose on a chained, gagged woman in a flimsy nightgown. It was well-filmed and edited for serious effect, but I can't imagine the minds that think this is what the mass markets want to or ought to see. This was around 8:45 p.m. on network television.
Another example is how the MSM jumped all over the death of a 'sexy celeb.'
It's good to see what Professor Brown is doing, but it seems so daunting to break through the clutter and distortions.
Jane just got back from a big deal conference
with lots of Hollywood types and lots of policy makers and lots of academics and lots of hot air. The subject was adolescents and the media.
She gave a report card . . . a performance evaluation . . . of media, regulators, schools and parents.
They all got big fat F's.
We the people let it all
We the people let it all happen by not speaking up loud and clear when the boundaries of decency were first breached. In music and movies and books sex is the over riding theme. And more and more it is "sick" sex, not the make love not war kind that my generation allowed. I am just so happy that my children grew up thru the '70'a and '80's and were all grown before it got too bad! Getting them thru the teens put a lot of strain on my nervous system I can tell you. Can't imagine how awful it must be now.
No no no
the only censorship that should go on is in my own home. I will not regulate what is available for others to watch......
after 9pm.
Robin Hayes lied. Nobody died, but thousands of folks lost their jobs.
Exactly.
If ya don't like it, turn the channel. If you don't want your kids to find it, a) don't put TVs in their rooms or other out-of-the-way places and b) watch WITH them. I know, that's crazy commie talk, but damn.
Let's not trash "sick sex"
Admit it: if you're not having it, you're wishing you were!
teen sex and the media
Hi everyone, thanks for noticing the quote in Newsweek. I'm Mrs. Anglico and while he's studying NC politics I get to study sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. I'm afraid it is a bit scarier now than when we were growing up, and the media seem to have no boundaries at all as long as we'll buy it.
I agree that we as parents bear a lot of the responsibility but we shouldn't let the media off the hook. They aren't giving parents a chance!
I was heartened to hear at the NY conference last week that some of the FCC commissioners are concerned enough that they at least want to go back to requiring TV stations to do more than send in a postcard every eight years to renew their license (aka license to make a bunch of money by exploiting our kids).
There are other reasonable proposals on the table that don't require content censorship. Like tax incentives for educational programming, ala carte cable channels, special urls for porn sites, etc. And, in the meantime, the Republicans are threatening to cut NPR and PBS funding again. We should be outraged.
Congratulations on your first blog post
Mrs. Anglico.
Heh.
J
PS Time for supper.
Cutting the PBS and NPR funding is outrageous
the backroom campaign that is slowly making the rounds against the reinstatment of the Fairness Doctrine is also an outrage. Here's a passage in an editorial by Norma Cappelletti, legislative chair of the Moore County Republican Women's Club, (printed in the Pilot Newspaper...)
Leaves ya wondering if she is saying that conservative programming couldn't exist if it was fair and balanced.
Even more disturbing are the little things that parents allow their children to wear. T-shirts and jewelry with sexual messages misrepresenting to some that these young girls are "Just asking for it".
Hope you join in the conversation more often Mrs. A, great first post!
No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent, rebellion, and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots.
Progressive Discussions My Blog at The Pilot online
Hi Mrs. A
I agree that we need to require that the media do a better job of policing themselves. I'm just not willing to let parents off the hook. I see so many parents who aren't disadvantaged in any way and they ignore their children during television viewing hours, don't pay attention to the magazines and books they read or the music they listen to. Ultimately, we are responsible.
Thank you for your part in getting this dialogue started on a national stage.
We've talked about this a lot
I think the real rub comes with children whose single parent doesn't get home from work until 6:30 . . . and the middle-schooler is home alone for three hours with the teevee and the Tubes.
Those who can ill afford to have television as the baby sitter for their kids are also those who can least afford to have a real babysitter.
Ding!
You got it in one!
These "big kids" still need attention, whether parental or of an organized child care type, in the hours between 3 and 6. Those are the hours during which the pre-marital sex and juvenile crime is most likely to happen. Organized Child Care in NC only goes to age 12, so after that, it's up to parents to find appropriate solutions. If you're a single, working parent, you don't have many viable options. Thank goodness for places like the Boys and Girls Club.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
Are you letting her know
that supper is ready or are you asking her when it's going to be ready? I think I know.
I'm the cooker tonight.
:)
Would you believe
that is exactly what I thought?