Mr. Smith Owns A Newspaper?

It's understandable that a small-town newspaper might have a certain pride when a local boy does good, but the Dunn Daily Record takes pride to dizzying heights with today's puff piece on Fred Smith, The Asphalt King. Join me while I pick it apart?

First off, the headline itself is an embarrassment that any newsroom intern would be fired for at an honest paper:

Smith Ready To Take On Governor's Seat

Now that I think about it, maybe Fred Smith IS ready to take on the Governor's seat. It's more the Governor's JOB we should all be worried about.

Sen. Smith says his life experience makes him a better candidate than any of the others running for governor. He was raised in a Methodist orphanage in Raleigh, and went on to Broughton High School in Raleigh where he was a football standout.

There he goes again with the orphanage lie. Poor widdle Fwedly. He talks about growing up in an orphanage so often, you'd almost think he actually was an orphan, wouldn't you? But you'd be wrong. Fred's parents happened to work in an orphanage, which is why he lived there, too.

He then entered the U.S. Army and served for four years, later becoming a successful attorney, entrepreneur and cattle farmer.

Successful attorney? Cattle farmer? Sounds to me like the perfect background for stepping up to the throne of The Asphalt King, Yuppie Golf Course Developer, and Government Trough Slopper. But rest assured, Senator Fred said all that will all add up to make him a better governor because he is:

"Not A Politician"

For someone who's not a politician, Mr. Smith sure does spend a lot of time doing politics. In fact, the first time I learned about Fred Smith was on a series of gigantic billboards outside of Kinston declaring himself to be a real conservative. Just the kind of thing you'd expect from "not a politician."

Sen. Smith said he thinks Democratic Lt. Gov. Beverly Perdue will likely be his opponent in the general election. He feels his campaign can do what it takes to match the resources of Mrs. Perdue's campaign. "We are going to raise whatever it takes," he said.

That's funny. Fred Smith is a multi-gazillionaire who has already proven he has more money than sense. But the fact is, Bill Graham and Bob Orr pretty much say the same thing about raising, which means two of them have to be lying. Of course, misrepresenting the truth would be par for the course for Mr. Smith, who also wants to amend the North Carolina constitution to discriminate against same-sex couples.

At the end of this hard-hitting article, the reporter actually does mention that there are two other likely candidates for the Greedy Old Party nomination, but don't worry, the Dunn Daily Record won't be saying much more about them. Because the Dunn Daily Record just LOVES The Asphalt King . . . and can't wait to see him get ready for the Governor's seat.