North Carolina Senators brave cruel conditions...

In an amazing display of personal sacrifice our Senators Dole and Burr braved the cold and discomforts of the US Senate Chamber during an all-night filibuster.

The Senate Chamber, normally warmed by gusts of hot air emanating from other areas of the Capitol, was, in Burr's words, "...just terrifyingly cold. I was afraid I might get the sniffles and, like wow, maybe die, or something." Dole said she too was uncomfortable, complained the pizza was cold, and that her hastily erected cot was lumpy. (Dole later determined the lump was actually John McCain who had inadvertently fallen asleep on her bunk during a lull in the bloviating.)

Courageously, however, Dole and Burr braved these inconveniences along with their Republican peers to ensure our sons and daughters, husbands and wives, and other loved ones could remain indefinitely in Iraq enjoying the 130 degree heat, the exciting opportunity to participate in a civil war, and to carry out the Bush administration's plan to keep Al Qaeda "over there so they can't be swimming over here...or something like that." ( link to vote )

When asked about the terrible sacrifices being made by our military and their families, Dole and Burr both stated they felt that as long as they themselves could continue to enjoy their own wealth, power, taxpayer funded health care, shoot their constituents the finger and get away with it, and were truly loved by the RNC, no sacrifice made by others was too great. They agreed that's why they both also voted against the Webb amendment that would have allowed our soldiers rest time between overseas assignments.

Washington, DC - On Monday, July 9, Senator Webb introduced an amendment (S. 2012) requiring that active duty troops have at least the same time at home as the length of their previous tour of duty overseas. The amendment is the first slated for debate on the National Defense Authorization Act. After four years at war, supporting our troops means addressing the erratic deployment tours that are breaking our military and ignoring the demands that extended tours place on our troops and their families.

(link to vote)

Both Burr and Dole had to cut the interview short as they were excitedly rushing to the Republican Senate Breakfast where David Vitter was to apologize for embarrassing his peers by actually being caught being a hypocrite and indulging in sexual fantasies involving wearing diapers and playing with his poopies.

Footnote: Althought the breakfast was private and media not allowed, it's rumored that Vitter was terribly contrite about being caught and vowed that he's do a better job of hiding his indiscretions in the future. There was also consensus at the breakfast that the "vast majority" of chiclet-toothed bumpkins outside the beltway would let this blow over and return Vitter to his rightful position of power in various subcommittes ...and allow him to continue with his annual Womens Leadership Forum which he stated on his web-site was "designed to help me focus on the views and needs of women and families."

End of snark...you decide!