Obama Not Constitutionally Eligible to Be President

First of all, I have to admit, after Barack Obama released his birth certificates (a clever forgery that will be revealed in due time I might add), I thought the issue of Obama's Constitutional eligibility to be President was settled.

That was until today, when one of my super secret right-wing friends told me about some paperwork he saw that Karl Rove is preparing to release via his new 527 group. Since my conservative friends have never led me astray in the past, I have no reason to believe that this isn't true.

First of all, I'm not a Constitutional scholar, but I can read. This is what the American Constitution says about what it takes to qualify to be President.

No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

It turns out that this stack of papers my friend say was actually medical records from Barack Obama's birth in Honolulu Medical Center in Hawaii. Yes, I know that this refutes my prior claim that Obama was born in Kenya, but I'm super, super serious this time so trust me. I have really good, rock-solid sources on this I swear.

What could these medical records possibly say that could make Barack Obama ineligible?

Remember when the Constitution said "natural born citizen". What does that mean?

Natural Childbirth is a philosophy of childbirth that is based on the notion that women, who are adequately prepared, are innately able to give birth to their child, without external intervention.

These medical records are absolute proof that Barack Obama's mother had external help, including a physician, nurses and medications. It is absolute proof that he was not delivered via natural childbirth, as required by the U. S. Constitution.

Now the DNC may not like to use the Constitution when picking it's nominee, but here in America that's what we use.

Like I said, I'm not scholar, but there's a lawsuit waiting to happen. You just wait. All you Obamanuts are going to regret picking him as your nominee. We'll see the look on Pelosi and Dean's faces when they look in the paper and see that Barack Obama was born with medical assistance. You'll see! You'll see! Muhahahah!...Muhahahaha!...