The Conservative Mind

People who are actively involved in North Carolina politics often find themselves in the Twilight Zone of wacko mailing lists. My significant other, who used to be chair of the faculty at UNC-Chapel Hill, is one such person. Which might explain why she’s lucky enough to receive her very own copy of Conservative Citizen, published several times a year by the John William Pope Civitas Institute.

In case you’re not familiar with Civitas, it’s part of the Art Pope Puppetshow, a conglomeration of reactionary North Carolina organizations founded and funded-in-full by Art’s old man, John Pope, who passed away last week. Civitas operates under the steady hand of President Jack Hawke, a long-time favorite of the lunatic fringe, hand-picked by the Puppetmaster to help crush responsible government in North Carolina.

Reading the magazine is always an eye-opening experience – a scary combination of amusing and depressing – but definitely worth the effort. It’s a good way to know what the crazies are up to, and god knows, they’re up to a lot.

This summer’s magazine opens with a sweet little picture of Kieran Shanahan, a new Pope Puppet, who is leading a group called the NC Property Rights Coalition. You may not have noticed yet, but the government’s reckless trampling of individual property rights is now the greatest single threat to freedom and democracy in North Carolina, and Chairman Shanahan is dedicating his life to protecting homebuilders and developers defending liberty at any cost.

From there, the magazine goes on to complain how the legislature didn’t listen to "citizens" advice about investing in the future of our state. Civitas did a poll of North Carolina voters, of course, and to everyone’s surprise, the findings totally agreed with what Jack Hawke already thought!

The next article outlines the Puppetmaster’s strategy for taking control of the legislature in November. Republicans for a Legislative Majority (not mentioned in the article) is trying to purge the NCGOP of moderates in favor of Puppets like Willie Ray Starling and Joe Boylan.

After that you’ll find an ominous story called What if Liberals Didn’t Control the General Assembly filled with idiocy like this:

What if true conservatives won a majority this November? By conservative I mean Republicans and Democrats who identify with this label. Conservatives are conservative first and members of a political party second.

The article, by Chad Hinton, is delusional in every sense of the word, with typical homophobic hypocrisy about defending marriage, new ideas for starving government into submission, and more paternalistic bullshit than you can imagine.

And guess what’s next! Predictable lies about North Carolina being the most heavily taxed state in the southeast. NC Policy Watch has put this talking point to rest on many occasions, but that doesn’t stop the Puppets from singing the same old tune again and again.

That's followed by a whiny article about how conservative college students have a difficult time on state campuses. Another Civitas "poll" is involved, which means the arguments are based on nothing more than whatever the Puppetmaster wants Jack Hawke to say. That said, I might be willing to buy the assertion that conservative students actually do have trouble at UNC. After all, many conservatives don't accept the role of science and economics in modern society, which might make it difficult to get good grades in, say, chemistry or physics.

Last but not least, there’s a silly column by the token person of color at Civitas, Thomas Stith, who spells Leadership c.o.n.s.e.r.v.a.t.i.v.e. No wonder wackos can’t get by at UNC. They can't even spell.

Scary shit.

PS There are ads for Chamblee Commercial Printing and Premier Corporate Specialties – two businesses we can all live without. And there’s also a plug for a book called The Conservative Mind.

Is there really such a thing?