Two more GOP candidates ride on the crazy train

And this one wants to become our State Auditor:

Debra Goldman reported that someone had broken into her home on June 12, 2010, and stolen $100,000 in jewelry and $20,000 in cash from a “ratty pink backpack.” She also said $10,000 worth of coins from her collection were stolen from a suitcase. Goldman said that she began to keep large amounts of cash at home in case of emergency because “she found it very difficult to get money from her bank in order to pay her bills” after the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001.

Uuuh...what? Methinks the school board member may have missed a few days of her home economics class, so a brief tutorial is in order:

A cheque (or check in American English) is a document[nb 1] that orders a payment of money from a bank account. The person writing the cheque, the drawer, usually has a current account (most English speaking countries) or checking account (US) where their money was previously deposited. The drawer writes the various details including the monetary amount, date, and a payee on the cheque, and signs it, ordering their bank, known as the drawee, to pay that person or company the amount of money stated.

Cheques are a type of bill of exchange and were developed as a way to make payments without the need to carry large amounts of money. While paper money evolved from promissory notes, another form of negotiable instrument, similar to cheques in that they were originally a written order to pay the given amount to whoever had it in their possession (the "bearer").

Next week, we'll be discussing wire transfers, a phenomenon in which money travels magically from one place to another via another fascinating instrument, the telephone. Don't miss it.

It appears Goldman and another Republican who is seeking a higher elected office with dubious qualifications were having something that closely resembled an affair:

The report shows that Malone said he and Goldman had become friends during the school board election in 2009 and that the relationship had progressed by October of that year, when they had their first kiss at the Clarion Hotel in downtown Raleigh.

According to the police narrative, Malone said he and Goldman “never had intercourse,” but their relationship got physically “very heated.”

Okay, let me get this straight: you don't have to have sex for the relationship to be classified as "very heated"? Apparently my love life isn't quite as sad as I thought it was...

Malone told police that the two were involved from the fall of 2009 to the spring of 2010, and the relationship grew from dinners and lunches to include encounters in a car and at a Hampton Inn in Cary. He said they exchanged “thousands” of emails from their personal accounts that the two deleted to keep their relationship secret.

I was going to say, "I once broke up with a woman because she sent me dozens of e-mails, and the sex was fantastic." But this is a family blog, so I won't go there.

Police closed the case in October 2010 after exhausting all leads and not making any arrests. Steven Goldman said his wife did not file an insurance claim for the missing jewelry and has not pursued the investigation since then.

This is the part of the story (in my opinion) that needs the most exposure. Why would you not file a claim on $130,000 in stolen property? Here's a hint: there are only two possible reasons, and both of them make Debra Goldman unfit for the office of State Auditor.