What You Said Sounds Racist

to simply say, "That sounds racist. I'd rather you not talk like that in front of me." With the right approach it completely disarms people. Don't give anything a pass even if it seems small.

to be more in line with the post.

Robin Hayes lied. Nobody died, but thousands of folks lost their jobs.

n/t

Cabarruscheapseats.com: Reasoned Discussion of Cabarrus County, NC News & Politics

This advice does not address my needs!

Like Larry David's character on Curb Your Enthusiasm, I live in fear of someone telling me "what you said was racist".

Forgetting the "what I am" aspect of things, and focusing on the "what I did", how do I just, er, hand someone their wallet back?

(It is interesting to me that the analogy offered in this video is one that is to an action that is unlikely to be accidental or benign in nature.)

Okay, so this has never yet actually happened to me, but is:

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry. That was a dumb thing to say."

(with "dumb" amended to "really dumb" as the situation warrants)

really enough?

Somebody help a wisecracking jackass out.

--
recently transplanted from Indianapolis, IN to Durham, NC

I wouldn't recommend drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. -- Hunter S. Thompson

while talking with an old friend from my former "literalist evangelical" surroundings. But I didn't use it in the context of race. I used it in the midst of a spirited exchange that kept inevitably returning to gay=immoral. The technique proved to be totally transferable.

As anyone who has ever had one of these exchanges knows, pulling the other person's head out of the 12th century and into this one and injecting some sound reason into the conversation can be quite a challenge. I was feeling more and more sensitive each time the line of morality was drawn between me as a human being and me as a human being in a relationship with another human being. Focusing on what was being said rather than the person who was saying it really helped keep the conversation open and going. Mountains were not moved, but because the conversation remained open, I think a tiny window of progress was cracked open.

Hey, I'll take what I can get. Besides, enough windows cracked open can often keep a house from turning into a toxic environment.

"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." - Harry Truman

Most people who know me know that I am not racist, although I have been called one by one of the most outwardly racist person I have ever met. Therefore, even if inclined, they don't go down that road with me. When I have been talking with newer acquaintances in one-on-one situations, I will usually call them on it, but not by directly telling them what they said sounded like. It has been a little while since I have had to do it, but I usually say something along the lines of "I don't think that way and this is not a line of discussion I want have." They get the message and pretty much always apologize. I think that approach is non threatening too as I am addressing what they said and not who they are. If the only victory is that they are less likely to assume every white guy born and raised in the South is not interested in perpetuating racism, it is progress.

If it is in a more public setting, I choose the non-verbal approach. I have found that silence and looking down or away sends a pretty clear message to all involved that I don't approve of the subject matter. This usually leads to a quick subject change without fully putting someone on the spot.

Race is such a difficult, scary discussion to have, I don't do it except with people I think can "handle" a rational discussion of the issue, but it is usually pretty easy to get a racist to shut up and maybe even feel a little guilty without getting into a fight with them.

move on French President Sarkozy. She asked him: in light of his great respect and feeling toward Obama, was he sorry he called the young people involved in riots in France "scum"?

He did some political squirming but it was clear he had been served.

Progressive Democrats of North Carolina