All hail the Queen!

The Great Dumbing Down of journalism and politics reached a new threshold yesterday, when all eyes were on Queen Aldona as she greeted her subjects in Raleigh. Would Her Majesty deign to apologize? Anticipation in the room was palpable. And then she uttered those unthinkable words.

"I deeply apologize for the impact that this has caused to the citizens of the state," said Wos, making her first public comments since the cards were mismailed two weeks ago.

In a fleeting stroke of genius, the Queen put to rest all concerns and doubts. She apologized! All hail Her Majesty! Things are once again right in the upper crust of the world.

Of course, the Queen didn't apologize for countless other failures. How could she? And she didn't actually do anything about the gross mismanagement of bloated administrative staff at her department. That takes work, by god, and someone somewhere is doing that work, we hope.

But never mind about that. She apologized! All is forgiven! All hail the Queen!


A low bar

When it's big news whether or not a politician apologizes for an obvious fuck-up, we have truly arrived at a state of journalistic despair. But since that's the threshold we're operating with today, I hereby apologize for whatever to anyone who may have been offended by something somewhere along the way.