If you ever needed evidence that time is a figment of our collective imaginations, look no farther than the august history of the month of August.

This month was originally named Sextilis in Latin, because it was the sixth month in the original ten-month Roman calendar under Romulus in 753 BC, when March was the first month of the year. About 700 BC it became the eighth month when January and February were added to the year before March by King Numa Pompilius, who also gave it 29 days. Julius Caesar added two days when he created the Julian calendar in 45 BC giving it its modern length of 31 days. In 8 BC it was renamed in honor of Augustus.

Too bad we didn't stick with Sextilis, which would have been a marvelous tribute to our perverted Speaker of the North Carolina House of Representatives.