The ENCSIS Act - A proposal for NC Democrats

With all that's happened with HB 465, I think it's time for the Dems to take drastic action. They need to introduce their own bill.

The Every NC Sperm is Sacred Act would require prostrate and sperm count discussions and exams for all males over 18 and prohibit any state funding being used for condoms or vasectomies. In addition, the law would prohibit vasectomies only when the carrier of the sperm's life is in danger and that records concerning those vasectomies be catalogued at DHHS.

Further, the Act would:

  • give a further tax reduction on yachts and eliminate income taxes for anyone making over $100,000 per year
  • allow the sale of gun, rifles, and sport semi-automatic weapons in vending machines in bars and restaurants
  • fund the purchase of a Bible for every NC student as a textbook for the study of world history
  • mandate drug testing for everyone who shows up at the polls to vote and requires them to pay for the drug test
  • change the name of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill to the NC School for Vocational and Cursive Writing Training
  • provide funding for a new Center for the Study of Ayn Rand Economics
  • classify Franklin Graham's ministry as a voucher school
  • fund testing of fracking feasibility on property owned by anyone who is gay married
  • apportion NC legislative districts based on "Choose Life" license plates
  • declare Obamacare unconstitutional
  • call on Congress to investigate Benghazi
  • prohibit Sharia Law in North Carolina.
  • give a special recognition to Art Pope for his service to the state as Budget Director

The proposed bill would also rename I40 as the Jesse Helms Memorial Freedom Highway and fund the purchase of portraits of Ronald Reagan for every public school in North Carolina.

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Almost forgot

Another provision of the law would declare coal ash the Official State Yummy Breakfast Health Food of North Carolina.