Tuesday Twitter roundup

Big news on the gerrymandering front:

Filing for Congressional races begins in about five weeks, and Berger sez this session will end this week. Those two things seem to be in conflict...

Yeah, it's not good. Drunk driving is bad enough, but drunk driving while wearing flip-flops that don't want to stay on your feet is just...

That's...really not possible. I mean, I get where she's going with the metaphor, but snakes don't have hands. I suppose he could crawl into a flea collar, but he wouldn't be able to cinch it up. It would not stay on, is what I'm saying.

I'd rather listen to rats chewing on the wires behind my walls than that nonsense. At least the rats have no ulterior motives.

It's what happens when your handlers can't cherry-pick people in the audience...

You're literally taking away their ability to personally assess the reading improvement of their students. Not interested in testimonials, I've already heard and read what teachers think about this. And the fact you're trying to sway opinions on Twitter is additional proof this is a bad idea.

Oh boy, the coastal hometicks are going to go bat-shit crazy...

Good job. It may just be one day, but for people who have trouble taking off from work (the majority, I would speculate) it's extremely important.

Bears watching. I don't like voter purges anyway, because the benefit (slight) does not justify even one incorrect purge. But several people I know who have been deeply involved in elections say they are necessary, so I'll bow to their knowledge. But it needs to be watched like a hawk.

Talking with an older woman a couple days ago on the campaign trail, and she asked me, "What's this fedrazil stuff that killed that judge? Seems very suspicious to me, I think he was killed by someone he sent to jail." I took a deep breath, and said, "It's called 'fentanyl,' and it's been killing thousands of Americans for a few years now. It's even killed a few here in our town." Luckily somebody interrupted us before I could continue, because I was right on the verge of explaining how the deaths of a District Court Judge and a 24 year-old homeless heroin addict were equally tragic, and giving special consideration to one over the other reveals a twisted value system.

This election needs to be over soon, before my mouth gets me into (even worse) trouble...

Methinks they might be slightly confused on what the definition of "Young" is...

On that mystifying note, here's your Onion:

It was only a matter of time...

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Bonus Onion:

I wouldn't put it past them.

Trump has lost his bloody mind...

al-Baghdadi "died like a dog," and here is the "hero dog" that killed him. Trump seems to be on a "dog" kick for some reason...