Tuesday Twitter roundup

Since I'm in the mood for a distraction from politics:

You know, unless you actually feed the poor creatures sweet, juicy peaches their entire sad lives, I'll stick with my peppery vinegary stuff, thank you very much.

Sheesh, Tori. You make Carmen Sandiego seem like a stay-at-home shut-in by comparison. I'm just saying. When your third-grade teacher said you were "going places," she meant that as career metaphor...

Yeah, this guy's a real winner:

No, you f**king idiot. They're pissed because (once again) men have taken it upon themselves to try to manipulate women's reproductive systems. And no amount of tasteless rhetoric on your part will quell their anger.

Not that I'm not pleased you're distracted by this issue as opposed to attacking Kay Hagan and/or Obamacare, or trying to undo our wildly successful renewable energy policies, but: the whole reason for the incentives is to keep them from filming in Hollywood, and instead bring that business to Wilmywood. And it's working, which is (of course) why idiots like you want to break it.

And Republicans here in NC wonder why national news outlets like the NY Times take such a special interest in our state? Maybe it's because of idiotic explanations like this one:

Jeff Tarte, a Republican state senator who supported the voter-ID law, said lawmakers did not intend to keep younger voters away from the polls. He said they were trying to prevent students from submitting absentee ballots in their home states and also voting in North Carolina. “Not that they would necessarily,” he said, “but why even offer that possibility to occur?”

As far as your "intentions" are concerned, the longer you delay releasing e-mails associated with voter suppression planning, the more your motives (intent) will be called into question.

Maybe the temperature on Barsoom is similar, but we don't live in Edgar Rice Burroughs' version of the Solar system...

Now I know I've been watching too much television. The first thing I thought of when I saw this Tweet is that JK Rowling is getting lonely, so she's maturing Harry up to the point she could fantasize about him without feeling icky. Rule #1 = Never fall in love with your characters, because then you start making excuses for their bad behavior and boring repetitive reminiscing.

Speaking of bad behavior:

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain:

"My job is to advise the governor and present information to him that's just not my personal advice," Pope said in an interview last week with The Associated Press. "And once the governor makes a decision, my job is to implement those decisions."

Pope blames liberal groups that receive outside money from Democratic-leaning organizations for promoting conspiracies about his hand on state government.

That's where you're wrong, Art. Dem Party leaders and their consultants don't want to spend their money attacking somebody who isn't an actual candidate for office or elected official, they want to reserve those resources for campaigns. It's the rest of us, who see your influence as a direct threat to democracy and representative government who are on your tail. And we'll stay there, as long as you continue to purchase a seat at the head of the table.

On that exasperating note, here's your Onion:

I don't know why, but that just made me laugh like crazy. Maybe I should give my carbon monoxide detector a look-see...


Fun stuff

I wasn't aware of John Nolte's existence before this. Just what I need, another douchebag to keep tabs on.

Yeah, me neither

What's even more disgusting when you stumble across some jackass like this, is the number of other jackasses that follow him. It doesn't say much about the Twitterverse...